Biscuit Bitch/Glucose Guardian/Gurk

She enters my space
and offers me an orange half
I tell her to peel it better
as I don't like the white stuff
- a customer service complaint, she mocks
Frantically I laugh
I pee myself
and ask her to accompany me to the bathroom where we plan the
matchmaking
      (we'd make them will slip on a banana peel and into each other’s arms)
and the wedding of our children
      (the party will be silverfish themed)
making us a family, officially

Two wicked grandmas
with 20 avocado seedlings and
a shelf full of spice and tea
She wants to paint me like Maria but compares me to the vengeful firelord Azula
and her brother Zuko
who looks for his honour in wrong places

I have been executed thrice
Each time a photo taken beforehand
She hugs me from the side koala-like
when I roll up my turtleneck up to my eyes
about to be hanged
Meanwhile her boyfriend takes a picture of us,
jealous of my time.

She enters my space
and teaches me not to invade hers