tomi i’m sorry

for not calling
back, i don’t have an excuse.
i hope your job thing worked
out, that you found something
in eye tea,
i know you love coding.
it doesn’t rain here as often
as you’d want, but i hope
it’s become your home. i hope
the sex parties don’t make you more
lonely, and that you don’t carry bags
of plant food in your pocket.
tell nico i loved
him, if but for two evenings. he held me
like there was a third one to happen.
his arm snaked through the sheets
to my neck as i slept
and hissed till my tears flowed
into spit. i miss licking
water. at night it’s as cold to my throat
as his silence. otherwise,
not much is happening.
i sleep with alarm
off and wash hair less often. i realize
the nights wide awake are
the caffeine, and not a gargoyle
on the balcony railing. i’ve deleted the apps, destroyed
all the letters, killed all the plants
(without intention). i don’t do coke
zero anymore, and
the regular’s always sucked ass.
tomi
i hope your teeth don’t refrain from
biting the ice
iron sky
when you’re walking,
when you’re walking and hoping
and talking too

god

told me it wasn’t your fault